Mommy Fog

I read a great reminder yesterday from Rachel Jones on the Desiring God Blog --- 

She exhorts us Mothers to simply Cling to Christ in the midst of the Foggy Seasons of Mothering.

In the midst of little ones, pregnancy, nursing, calls back to the nursery to get a crying,hungry child, sleepless nights, early mornings, a crazy rushed morning just to get everyone out the door.... it can be hard to feel like we can really engage and fully receive the benefit of the preaching and teaching we get each Sunday.   We can barely stay awake, yet alone engaged.  Take notes?  I can find a crayon, but no way is there a pen in my purse. 


Rachel’s post encourages us all to Cling to Christ.
Cling to the truths that are rooted deep in our hearts.  We may not be able to take a page full of notes, or recite the 5 points that were preached.  However, our identity is not found in this “ability”… our identity is found in Christ.   (See the great points Rachel points out in Romans 7)

I was given great wisdom after I had Charlotte--- to simply seek out 1 truth to take home from the day’s preaching and teaching. Maybe not all of them, maybe not even 2.   Maybe even a nugget of truth or encouragement from a hymn or song.   But just 1 little take away that I could remember.   

I also have learned greatly over the years to turn to my husband in these seasons... and not to feel “less” spiritual or guilty or judged because of the foggy time.   But it helps so much to talk about the sermon, or maybe just listen to him talk about the sermon--- to hear what he thought, learned, etc.  Truly a picture of how our husbands can “wash us in the word”. 

With 3 children ages 6 and under, the fog is still present.  Being Pregnant has brought in the thick fog some more, and I know the heaviest fog is coming soon with the arrival of Baby Boy!    I am so thankful for this reminder that though my mind may be a little foggy, these truths remain the same, and I can cling to them. 

I can cling to Christ!

Praying that in the midst of the Mommy Fog…
you choose to cling to Christ as well. 

Five years ago…

It seems like just yesterday…
But it was almost 5 years ago.
This picture was almost exactly 5 years ago when I was 1 week over due

 

That we went from us… just us…



to US---- a family!



Little did we know that this little lady was about to change our lives forever… making us no longer just a young couple

But a family.

How has it possibly been 5 years? 

 
And while we welcomed this addition, and the next 2 to come…
The days of it just being us were gone.
And we wouldn’t change that for a million dollars

So this week we celebrate Miss Charlotte
and the 5 years of fun she has brought us!

Knowing the signs of Anger

I recently put a dress on Helen that used to be mine.  She looked SO adorable, but since it was already small, I figured she probably wouldn’t wear it again. 

So I decided I would take a little photo shoot.  Nice try mom. 
There was NO way I was prying her “JSHHH” from her hand

She was looking and acting SO cute, So I thought I would just swipe it from her and take a few more pics. 
Sorry, I just don’t want a pink cup in a picture I might frame.

Let me just warn you new parents who think that is a good idea. 

It’s not. 

Don’t EVER take anything from the baby if you want a decent picture….paci, lovey, cup, blankee. 
just leave it in the picture

Let me introduce you to the 5 stages of baby anger.

   


        First she was shocked.
How dare I pry that precious cup from her hands?

 

 

 

 

 

    Then she got
downright mad.
Nobody puts baby's cup in the corner.

 

 

 

 

 

  

   Then that anger turned to rage.
                            Baby rage. 
Note—she has now dropped to the floor.  This adds to the drama of the baby rage.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then she just turned to despair.
I can’t believe you took my cup mama.

 

 

 

 

 

 

And before you email me saying what a horrible mother I am,
let me assure you-- she did not cry for long.  These pictures were taken in about 3 seconds. 

 
So I did what any good mama would do—
I resorted to enlisting the big kids to help entertain her.

They hammed it up, and tried to make her laugh.

But nothing got the job done.
So I gave in and returned her precious sippy cup.

And here is where we witness the 5th stage of Baby Anger…

I like to call it “Gotcha”—
where the baby sneakily walks away knowing “I fooled you”
Where their crying miraculously ceases the minute
they get what they want.

The above pictures were taken seconds after the screaming fit.
She got her cup, but she was not going to give me another smile
~~

Thankfully (even though I am SO not Photoshop savvy),
I can crop and edit,  and tweak and perfect…

To get at least one framable picture that captures that little angel in her mama’s dress.  With no sippy cup in sight. 

Is she not the cutest Little Henny Buggy Ever?

Confessions

I just want to find something I am really good at….

I am not an immaculate house keeper…I clean because it’s a necessity of life.  I love cleaning windows though… dirty window, spray, wipe = clean window.  Check!  I almost feel a sense of accomplishment after cleaning windows and mirrors… And then my kids wake up..and those clean windows are…G-O-N-E.

I am not the Pioneer Woman nor Bakerella in the kitchen… I cook because we must eat.  Once my children are not screaming bloody murder from the hours of 4-6, I might enjoy cooking more and use more fancy ingredients that require fresh herbs, and multiple steps like chopping, mincing, and sautéing, etc. 

I am not a crafty person.  Taught myself to sew (with a little background from 7th grade home-ec) and I sew what I need to sew.  I have done curtains, a few burp pads decked out with grosgrain, a nursing cover.  I tried some dresses.  I am just not a great sewer (seamstress?). 

I am not a great gardener. And that’s all I have to say about that.

I am not a runner or athlete at all…and can play no sport…yes, I know I grew up on Hilton Head, and NO…. I don’t play tennis or golf.  

I once played piano, but not anymore….but I can still play, it’s just rusty.   I know I can sing deep inside, but haven’t held a mic since before I had children.  I once dabbled in theater.  But the arts is a hobby one must truly cultivate.  You can’t just put it on the shelf and pick it up in 10 years.  And I am rusty in all of the above , and honestly…just not quite good at any of it.

Then we have mothering… 
                Am I a Good mother?  (you know we all ask ourselves this)
The problem with mothering is it’s not a hobby.  You don’t get to try it out, and quit.  You can’t train harder, practice longer, and just get better.  You can’t decide it isn’t the sport for you.  There are no sub-ins.  No understudy.  No back up plan. 

It’s all me. 
And I confess there are days when I wonder if I am a good mother.  And I confess that I know there are days when I am not. 
I fail constantly.  I make big mistakes.  I have huge regrets.
           I am not a professional.  
           I am not an expert.
           There is not a doctorate in mothering one can acquire.
           I knew way more about mothering before I was a mother.

 

Yet, this is my calling… what God has called me to do.  He has given me these 3 precious  babies, and called me to be their mother.    He must know what He is doing.    

He says that He will give me everything I need for life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3) … and I am sure that covers my needs for mothering.

And this promise is for ME… And for you…

“He tends His flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in His arms and carries them close to His heart; He gently leads those that have young.”  Isaiah 40:11

He will care for them.  He will care for me. 
And maybe…just maybe…. 
          If I let Him care for me, I will be better able to care for them.

So, while I have many days when I wish I was just good at something…  And plenty of days when I don’t think mothering is that “something”.  I will rest knowing that the Great Shepherd is the one that is Good at it all…and it is Him that strengthens me in the great job of mothering.

Okra and Peaches...

I know, this really isn't the season for fresh okra and peaches...

But go back with me to August 1st... I had never made fresh okra before but was reading a blog and was inspired to go get some and try my hand at easy okra.   It was a beautiful summer morning... the first day of August. My husband was in the mountains enjoying a weekend reunion with college friends. I was determined not to stay cooped up in the house all day with 3 children so we packed up the van and headed to the farmer's market. We enjoyed a nice stroll, some fresh baked goods, and I picked up some beautiful fresh picked flowers, some okra and peaches and we headed home, for what was sure to be quite a yummy lunch! It was 10:30am... we were less than a mile from home. Not on the interstate, on a road we travel often, just minutes from our house.

Click here to read the rest of the story and visit the Kyle David Miller Foundation

My Heart's Desire...

For years I have made goals every "semester"... a habit well established back in college. For years they were lengthy goals that went along with every aspect of my life. I had a lot of goals, meaning I had a lot to evaluate each week, month, semester. Though I still have many of those same goals, these days I need a more condensed version to "spur me on" for the upcoming months.

So here I share with you My Heart's Desire for the fall... I may not always be the perfect wife, mom, child of God....but My Heart's Desire is to grow in so many ways and to strive to be the best wife, mom, child of God I can be.


-I want to lose 15 lbs. I know you may not think I need to lose 15 lbs, but trust me... it's there... hiding in places I try to keep well concealed.

-I will spend more time time in the evening "screen free" and have more candlelight conversations with my husband instead.

-I will pursue women in different lifestages...older, younger, married, singles, empty nesters, widows, etc in meaningful ways

-I will find a new mom to encourage.

-I will engage my children in more purposeful play

-We will go see the leaves in the mountains this fall and maybe even go pick apples!

-I will enjoy Greensboro and NC for all it has to offer.

-I will simplify my life by de-cluttering, and keeping only what is absolutely necessary

-I will read 1 novel. I don't do alot of reading these days...and when I do I feel it is about parenting or Christian Living. I can't remember the last time I read a piece of fiction....I know, I am a horrible example to my kids.

-I will develop a better "plan" (one that is attainable) for the spiritual growth of our children

-We will have more people over for dinner....even in the midst of our wild llamas...we will invite them to share in this crazy thing we call our family.

-I want to speak more of God's word/promises to people around me... meaning I have to know more of God's word.

So....

What is your Heart's Desire for the fall?

Gloria Vanderbilt...

What in the WORLD do Gloria Vanderbilt and I have in common?

To be honest, not much....

But I must admit I have found a favorite new pair of jeans. They are fabuloso! And you guessed it...
The brand is Gloria Vanderbilt.

I have officially entered into the world on Mom Jeans. I mean really... Gloria Vanderbilt? Just report me to the fashion police RIGHT NOW!

But wait... these are not your typical mom jeans.

These jeans are great. They have a nice flare leg (flare is still in, right?) I am sorry but skinny jeans aren't EVER going to look good on me... or you, or most people. Unless you are 13 and 85 lbs. So, Flare is for me, it evens out the nice curviness in my thrice used birthing hips. (yes, thrice is a word)

However much I would LOVE a pair of these or these jeans, since I hear they are THE jeans to own.... I currently do not have $200 just sitting around, nor will I be buying a pair of jeans that expensive ever....unless I want my husband to kill me and thus be buried in the $200 jeans I just bought.

But... if I ever do lose these last 15 lbs of baby weight (3 babies = thrice the baby weight...there's that word again) I might just scope out Ebay for a good deal.

Back to my new fav jeans...

I got them at Kohls... I know, your mom's favorite store.... Now one of my favorite stores. These jeans have a nice stretch (wait, I already mentioned that) Flare, and... oh yes, a MID- waist.

Please moms... if you are playing on the floor with your kids, I do not want to see your bottom crack... nor does anyone else playing with you at playgroup. :) Do us all a favor and retire the ultra low rise jeans for good. My mid-waist jeans still look awesome on, and actually hold in a little of that extra 15 lbs I mentioned earlier!
I bought myself a size 8....but I hope to splurge another $21 (did I mention they were on sale?)and go out and buy another pair in a size 6 in a few months.
Here's Hoping! And Here's to a great pair of fitting jeans for the fall.
Thank You Gloria!

PS-- for all those who are headed to Kohls to buy yourself an awesome pair of jeans, I bought the Isabelle in flair, in a mid-dark color . Not the lightest--too casual for me, not the darkest---the dark ones back button pockets and i don't like pocket flaps. They also have boot-cut, but I recommend the flair.

**UPDATE---The rumors are true.  Gloria stopped making the flair Isabelle jeans.  Gasp.  I have found the Amandas (yuck).  The best way to find the Isabelle is on Ebay (just search Gloria Vanderbilt flair, because most people don't know they are called Isabelle). I actually just bought a pair on Ebay...they are a little longer than my own, and seem bigger... but the fit is still superb. I can get the hemmed.   I also spent some time at a "nicer" Goodwill and found 4 size 8 GV jeans, but no Isabelles.   BooBoo.... Any one else have similar jeans they love??

The girl I used to be...

An excerpt from
Womanly Dominion -- on my "to read" list

She came in tonight as I sat alone, the girl I used to be...

And she gazed at me with her earnest eye and questioned reproachfully;
Have you forgotten the many plans and hopes that I had for you? The career, the splendid fame, and all the wonderful things to do?

Where is the mansion of stately height with all of its gardens rare? The silken robes that I dreamed for you and the jewels in your hair?

And as she spoke, I was very sad for I wanted her pleased with me...This slender girl from the shadowy past the girl that I used to be.


So gently rising, I took her hand, and guided her up the stair... Where peacefully sleeping, my babies lay innocent, sweet, and fair.

And I told her that these are my only gems, and precious they are to me; That silken robe is my motherhood of costly simplicity.

And my mansion of stately height is love, and the only career I know is serving each day in these sheltered walls for dear ones who come and go.

And as I spoke to my shadowy guest, she smiled through her tears at me.

And I saw that the woman that I am now,
pleased the girl I used to be.

Author Unknown
taken from Womanly Dominion
-----------------------------------------------

I have to admit there are many days I miss the "girl I used to be". There are many days where I think I am a horrible mother and that this just isn't the way I imagined it all to be. But even with the multiple cries in the night, toddler tantrums, playtime mediation, and 100's of cups of spilled milk... I can confidently say I love the life God has given me.
And I think "the girl I used to be" loves it too.

Happy Travels with Kids

So we just accomplished a major road trip with 3 kids.
9 hours to see Gemma, 9 hours home.

And the kiddos did great!

See.... We made it.
We are all happy, and enjoying the beauty of Lake Erie.

That was another 2 hour round trip. But Worth it!

So...we thought we would give a few travel tips.

1- Map out McDonalds Playlands on your way.
That's right folks... you can map every single McDonalds Playland from here to Canada.

Not that we went all the way to Canada....we're not that brave.

2- Leave immediately after nursing the baby.
This gives you at least 3 hours before you should have to stop. Although we did do a few fast stops for a poopy diaper, because Helen just will not poop on demand.

3- Have a System for Stops
Have I mentioned my husband likes systems?
So here is ours.
Get your order together.
Go through the drive through...
Heck no are we taking 3 crazy kids to stand in line at McDonalds!
Mom keeps her food in the van while nursing the baby.
Dad takes kids in to eat and play on playland.
Total time of stop -- 30-45 minutes.

Stop #2 -- Same as above, but Kids get ice-cream instead of lunch!

4- Don't get frustrated with little girls who have to go potty.
By all means, you worked your tail off to potty train the child, now let her go!
Poop happens, and diapers need to be changed.
David was much more graciious than I was in this area... I mean really...we just stopped, do you really have to go?


5- Bring lots of snacks... bribe the heck out of them.
I admit it...I may not nurse on demand, but I do hand out snacks on demand. Forget the healthy diet, or spoiling their lunch (I mean come on...lunch was McD's). They want goldfish? Pass them the goldfish. They want fruitsnacks? Hand em a bag. We did however make every snack seem like a treasure or prize.


6- Create fun new activities.
And let them watch as many movies as they can until their eyeballs roll to the back of their heads. But Seriously... I recommend the Magna Doodle. We like the big ones too...not the little ones. Great "laptop" play.

And pick up a travel Aquadoodle too! Both are great travel items.
We had crayons and colorbooks, and on one trip I also bought little dollar store "prizes" that I would reveal to them every hour or so.


We came up with a tunnell song...
that you sing where else.... in the tunnell!


Make up a toll song...
give each child a bag of change to "pay the toll"


We yelled out "Cow", "Mountain", "horse" the whole way. It was a game of sorts.

Play "Eye Spye" or spot that car (search for a certain color car)


But Really, Our kids are great travelers.
And we are thankful for that. We have heard horror stories from many of you of screaming babies and whiney toddlers for hours on end.

Hopefully this post will help to eliminate some of the travel woes.


Charlotte did ask about 15 minutes into our trip as we passed Winston Salem...

"Is that the Grove City?" (Our desitnation)

"No Honey....that's not Grove City. We have about 8 1/2 hours left to go!
Want a goldfish??"

Happy Travels!
So what are YOUR travel tips for traveling with toddlers??

A girl can dream....

Isn't it illegal, or inappropriate, or just plain bad parenting to leave your children in the van while you run into the Drug store? And the Post Office? And a cute little jewelry store that has the perfect orange (yes, I said orange) necklace I want to match a skirt?

Bad Parenting decision? Correct??

That's what I thought.

And that's why I did NOT get to go to the Drug Store, the Post Office (sorry Hallie, your Bday present might be late) or the Cute Jewelry Store.

Because preschool mornings go by WAY too fast, and now i have a "nursling" who must nurse at the most convenient of times. So only half of my list got done this morning. What's a girl to do?

If I could pay someone to just ride around with me for 45 minutes while i do errands, that would be great. That way I wouldn't be arrested for leaving my kids alone in the van in 80 degree heat. I could leave the van running....

No...Better yet...

If those stores could just provide me with a person who could stand out side and make sure no one drives off with my 3 kids. I would tip that person. A nice little helper standing right outside the drug store door, where there is parking for "moms of children" and they watch my van, and pass out goldfish and juice boxes. That would be heaven. All of the places that should have this.... Target, Post Office, Drug Store, probably HT (though I don't need that service because I order my groceries online now), oh the list is endless.

And While they are at it...

Why doesn't Target and Walmart have a drop and play zone (free of charge of course... I am on a tight budget here) where you can sign your kids in and they could tag them so no one takes them... they could play and jump till their little hearts are content. And I could shop in perfect peace and harmony.

A Girl Can Dream, can't she??

ps-- You don't suppose i could leave now, while they are all sleeping, do ya? I'd only be gone for 30 minutes... Just kidding. But haven't you ever wished you could do that at least once?

Little Llamas Losing Sleep! Mama Llama starts to Weep!

What is the magic trick to getting your children to sleep?

This pic of the clock is a big joke. In our house by 7:00, we have already had our early morning snack (breakfast isn't until 7:00) mommy has already had a cup of coffee (working on cup # 2 right now at 6:45), we have already been sent to our rooms a few times, they have demanded kid shows (no, way!). And that is our morning until 7:00.

So.. .We have sleep issues.

My rule is that we don't get up until 6:00. But We have been battling some night time sleep issues lately at night as well.

FYI For those of you with babies and no toddlers yet--That whole "sleep through the night" thing is a joke. Once they get in a big kid bed.. they wake up more than they did as babies!

Carson--- He wants to cuddle, he wants his blankee, he wants a train. I am fine getting up and handing him a blankee, patting his back and done. But no... this high maintenance llama will start a screaming rant for me to sleep with him. And scream that child can do until everyone in our house is awake and we are MAD.

Charlotte---we are trying to get her to stay in the Big Kid room. As we have a baby coming any day now, we need her sleeping in the Big Kid Room.

So...We resorted to bribery.

We told them that if Charlotte stays in bed all night and Carson has no screaming in the night they get a special Candy treat in the morning. Well, 2nd night and no candy for them. But we did make progress. Charlotte did stay in bed all night, and Carson didn't have any screaming fits. YEAH!

Then 5:13 rolled around...

I almost thought it said 6:13 and was so proud of my little llamas for sleeping the whole night with no incidents. I was prepared to walk in with a bag of Gummy bears singing Hallelujah Chorus! And then that second glance made me realize that the clock said 5:15! Carson was screaming "Breakfast time" and charlotte was screaming "I need a hairbow!"

Are you kidding me?? At 5:15???

I knew there was no hope to get them to go back to sleep.

Nice mommy quickly flew the coop and I sternly threatened them and told them that they must stay in their room with no screaming until 6:00. I actually think charlotte attempted to go back to sleep. But carson was perched on the edge of his bed the WHOLE time. Gripping every blankee and animal he had found in his bed... waiting for the timer to ring and the gates of heaven to open up.

So how do some of you do it? I hear some of you moms say "I just tell my kids they cannot come out until 7:00." Seriously...7:00? how do you just teach you children to do this? I am convinced that you all have much more compliant, calm, and easy going children than I do. Because this crazy herd of llamas wakes up with a vengeance. My strong willed, highly opinionated, dominant little toddlers are not ever going to sleep until 7:00.

So..what are your tips to my sleeping dillema??

Please post your tips in the comments and the lucky winner will get one overnight stay with my toddlers to put your plan into action! Just Kidding...that wouldn't quite be a prize now would it? But you will get the satisfaction of knowing that you helped Mama Llama out.

Mama talk...How long to keep your toddler strapped in?

This is Mama Talk:

I want to feature issues that are pertinent to our roles as mommies. So whenever there is a big piece of info in the news, or an issue I am debating over, I will post it for all of you to know about, or chime in and comment on. See... most of my friends know that I am pretty "up and up" on all most current "kid news". BPA in bottles, delayed vaccinations, new studies on such and such. This is something I find essential as a mom...you've got to know what is going on out there and how to care for our children.

But sometimes knowledge can be your worst enemy.

Example...
When all the studies and recalls about lead in kids toys came out I read, I looked...and honestly I wanted to ignore. I really didn't want to dig through every drawer and basket and compare my Playskool toys with the ones online. I admit, I played the role of "ignorant mom" on that one. Please don't report me... and please still come over to play. I'll keep the basket of lead tainted toys away from your kids.

Now when my crib was recalled this summer, I gladly disassembled it, mailed in the hardware and used the $275 voucher they mailed me to purchase Helen a brand spanking new crib! (yes, 3rd babies can get new things too...even if it is because of recall)

Enter my current dilemma... This recent piece of mommy information has got me all in a conundrum. It is about carseats.

Those necessary, lifesaving, EXPENSIVE, pieces of baby equipment.

(note..this pic was from almost a year ago...but isn't is SO darn cute?)

We have:

- the infant seat (which I still need to go wash the cover and get it ready for our Littlest Llama)

- the convertible carseat (can face rear or forward) -- Carson is currently in this now

- the toddler seat with buckle that can turn into a high back booster. -- Charlotte's throne

One would think that would "get 'er done" But no....One would be WRONG!

You see... our current toddler carseat only holds children in the buckles up to 40 lbs. After 40lbs you are supposed to begin using the seat as a booster with belt positioner. And guess how much my healthy little 3 year old.... yep, you guessed it... 40lbs!

(thought you needed another cute, year old picture)

I know that the user manual gives me adequate permission to put her in the seatbelt as a booster. But my mommy instinct says "no way am I doing that" She is just 3. Not to mention that SO many studies are recommending you have a chidlren in a 5pt harness as LONG as possible. Well in order to do that, you have to have a seat that enables them to be in a 5pt harness past 40lbs. When you are buying a toddler seat for your 20month old (because you have a baby who needs the convertible) you just don't really think how quickly they will become 40lbs. I know...not all of you have beastly (I mean Healthy) children like I do.

Thankfully many carseat companies are falling in line and stretching their weight capacities to 50lbs.

So... after battling in my mommy heart. Knowing I needed to buy her a new seat. Then justifying it by saying.... but she is tall and 40lbs.... and "so and so" put's their 3 year old in a seat belt. I have decided that I just can't do it. I just can't.

**note---if you are one of the "so and so's" who puts their 3 year old in a seatbelt, no judgment here. Well, maybe a tad of judgment (just being honest). But for me, and my 3 year old...I just can't do it. **

This video sealed the deal for me... a very sad story of Kyle David Miller.

So we are buying a Graco Nautilus.

This baby can hold my BIG babies up to 65lbs in the buckles. Then act as a high back booster, then act as a low booster. It is a great seat. A little on the larger side, but we've got a van with lots-o-room ... so I think we're set.

A few other options I looked into were:

-The Safeguard Go Booster - But it only went up to 60lbs and didn't look like it would work well with an under 2 year old.

-The First Years True Fit Convertible - Probably what we will get if/when we need to replace our current convertible seat (which I WILL find an excuse to replace it eventually...see my Spit on this post) But this is a great option for you mamas looking to get your babies a convertible... get one they can last in!

Of course there are the trusted Britax seats.... but the Roundabout only goes to 40lbs. The Marathon does go to 65lbs. But I just don't want another convertible. I want a toddler seat that converts to a booster eventually.

So there you have it... part Public Service Announcement, part "what would you do?". The PSA part is for all you mamas about to go buy another carseat... to take a look at the weight limits and don't buy something that limits the buckles to 40lbs.

-----
UPDATE-- We found a STEAL on a Apex 65 that will harness to 65lbs. bought it and love it!