Good not Gone

I sat across from her and asked her “so when does it get easier?”  The weariness, the physical demands--- the always being needed, being the only one who can meet the needs.  And she just sweetly smiled while she shook her head and said
     “you are asking the wrong question. You cannot look for this to be over--- you have to give your all to this season right now” 

You see… when it comes to fight vs. flight, I am a fighter. 
I don’t want to just barely survive.  I want to thrive.  I am a pull yourself up by your bootstraps and do it kind of gal.  I want to do it, and I want to do it well.  And I just kind of wanted to know… How much longer is this going to be this hard??   This job of mothering little people. I wanted to know, when do we move out of the “little people” stage?  Is it when they are all over 5? 6?  

You see, they made a huge move just like us about 9 years ago.  The summer they moved they had 5 children and her youngest was a baby.  He is now 8.   Crazy.    How did that happened SO fast???   It made me realize that before I even know it, all of my children (including this new baby) will be 8 and up.  In 8 years, I will have an 8, 11,13, and 14 year old.   They will no longer be “little people” 

These years are going to go by so fast.   And yet, these are weary years.  I know the reality that now it is a physical weariness but as they get older it will be more emotional weariness as we tread the waters of life with teenagers, emotions and hormones (oh my!) possible rebellion, and, Lord Willing, true conversions in the hearts of our children.   Weariness just comes with the territory…

So, It’s not that I just want these “little people” years to be gone…
It’s that I want them to be good years.   Get that?  It’s not that I want these years to be gone, it’s that I want them to be good.

I don’t’ want to look back in 8 years and think: 
    It’s over… it flew by and I missed it… I wished it away. 

I want to make the most of every story time, every cuddle, every boo boo. I want to welcome the role of chauffeur, chef, referee, paramedic, teacher and more.   I welcome these weary years with little people.  Because in 8 years, I will have no babies, no toddlers, no preschoolers.  This is my chance to be the mother God has called me to be to these children… right now.

And I am committed to doing what I can, by God’s Grace,
to make these years, these days, these moments… Good.   

I don’t want to spend my days wanting them gone…
I want them Good. 
Because before I know it, they will be gone.

Welcome Back Friends!

Happy January 20th.

Confession— I just uploaded my Christmas pictures to my computer like 5 minutes ago. And I haven’t taken any pictures since Christmas, unless on my phone.   So relive Christmas with us here for a moment. 

Carry on.

So, It’s been a while.  And I have no particular reason.  And I am just fine with that.   It’s not like I just had a baby  (Ironically, I will probably post more after the baby comes to keep all the family appeased with pictures and such).  My computer did not die (though that does remind me, I probably need to do a major system back up before it does).  I am not depressed, and I don’t have writer’s block.   I actually have a lot I could write about.

Truth be told, I have just been being a mama and running a household.  I have been trying to be “busy at home” instead of just plain busy.   That in no way means our household has been in stellar condition, our meals gourmet, or our children supernaturally transformed because of all the love and attention I have given them.   It simply means I have been trying to give myself to the greater cause.   And in doing so, I am finding great satisfaction in my days… great peace in knowing I have tried my hardest to honor God with this great calling of Motherhood.

 

In the past month I have…
-Been at a National Conference with 5,000 college students, phenomenal speakers, great friends, and no children of my own.
-Had a few amazing conversations with friends and mentors that were like water in the desert. 
-Read some phenomenal articles, blog posts, and books that have really helped me to evaluate my mothering, homemaking, etc
-Taken down all our Christmas decorations
-Hosted a baby shower.
-Moved 3 children into one room, including a toddler into a bed.

(I said 3 children in 1 room… I never said anything about them having their own beds.)

-Began collecting the necessary baby equipment for Baby 4
-Hosted 10 guys to watch some important football game that I knew nothing about.   But I fed them well.
-Realized my children know what Tebowing is.


-Took advantage of some of the unseasonably warm January days we’ve had (but as I speak it is in the low 30’s)
-Gained about 5 lbs… or maybe more.
(It was the holidays… and I am growing a human being you know)
-Been growing my hair out—it helps with the baby weight I am gaining… and enjoying my winter head wrap


-Washed our pillows and quilts and realized I don’t do this nearly enough. (we might get some new pillows and start from scratch)
-Joined a new meal planning website, which I am loving.
-Continued a meal swap with a friend and neighbor. 
    (I bring her a meal one week, she brings us one the next week)
-Homeschooled my kindergartner.
-Enjoyed a much needed mom’s night out

 

So… that’s just a little of what’s been going on. 
I haven’t given up on Little Llamas.    Rather, the opposite.  I have been giving myself TO my Little Llamas.  I have said NO to the good, in order to say YES to the best.  I have spent much needed time making choices, evaluating my time, my schedule, my commitments.   I didn’t intend to take a Blog sabbatical, but it certainly turned into that. 

I do still have much to say. Those who know me well, know that to always be the case.  Much is swirling around this mama’s heart, and I am eager to share.   Thanks for being gracious and patient with my absence.  Admit it--- there was a deep void in your life the past month.  Right??  

Well, Welcome back!  Welcome Back to you… and Welcome back to me.  I can’t wait to share more in the weeks and months to come!  So stick around---- life is always fun in our herd of Little Llamas!