Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Good not Gone

I sat across from her and asked her “so when does it get easier?”  The weariness, the physical demands--- the always being needed, being the only one who can meet the needs.  And she just sweetly smiled while she shook her head and said
     “you are asking the wrong question. You cannot look for this to be over--- you have to give your all to this season right now” 

You see… when it comes to fight vs. flight, I am a fighter. 
I don’t want to just barely survive.  I want to thrive.  I am a pull yourself up by your bootstraps and do it kind of gal.  I want to do it, and I want to do it well.  And I just kind of wanted to know… How much longer is this going to be this hard??   This job of mothering little people. I wanted to know, when do we move out of the “little people” stage?  Is it when they are all over 5? 6?  

You see, they made a huge move just like us about 9 years ago.  The summer they moved they had 5 children and her youngest was a baby.  He is now 8.   Crazy.    How did that happened SO fast???   It made me realize that before I even know it, all of my children (including this new baby) will be 8 and up.  In 8 years, I will have an 8, 11,13, and 14 year old.   They will no longer be “little people” 

These years are going to go by so fast.   And yet, these are weary years.  I know the reality that now it is a physical weariness but as they get older it will be more emotional weariness as we tread the waters of life with teenagers, emotions and hormones (oh my!) possible rebellion, and, Lord Willing, true conversions in the hearts of our children.   Weariness just comes with the territory…

So, It’s not that I just want these “little people” years to be gone…
It’s that I want them to be good years.   Get that?  It’s not that I want these years to be gone, it’s that I want them to be good.

I don’t’ want to look back in 8 years and think: 
    It’s over… it flew by and I missed it… I wished it away. 

I want to make the most of every story time, every cuddle, every boo boo. I want to welcome the role of chauffeur, chef, referee, paramedic, teacher and more.   I welcome these weary years with little people.  Because in 8 years, I will have no babies, no toddlers, no preschoolers.  This is my chance to be the mother God has called me to be to these children… right now.

And I am committed to doing what I can, by God’s Grace,
to make these years, these days, these moments… Good.   

I don’t want to spend my days wanting them gone…
I want them Good. 
Because before I know it, they will be gone.