Sunday, January 16, 2011

Life With Little People – Part 2

So did you enjoy last week’s edition of Life with Little People ?
If you haven’ read it, you should really check it out. 

We left off considering the following quote from Jankovic’s book “Loving the Little Years”

Your children are not a situation. They are individuals.-----

I have really been trying so hard to remember this.  But I admit that sometimes I think being more organized would help with this.  Shoes in the Basket, Jackets on the hook. I say it every time we walk in the door.  Does that make it any easier?  Sometimes. 
But not really. We have a routine, I pack the diaper bag the night before, I lay out clothes… but that doesn’t mean that we have order all the time.  Because life just happens. 

Christian Parenting is a pastoral pursuit,
not an organizational challenge

I mean, really?  Why must she challenge me again and again?
But I want my organization (not that I have a ton of it) to solve my parenting issues.   Even with chore charts, and schedules, labeled baskets for toys…. the needs of my children overwhelm me.

Most of the time the children do not realize that what they are doing is overwhelming.  It’s because children do not forget that they are individuals.

Did you catch that?  We are the ones that forget they are individuals.  Someone comes up to us, tapping us on our leg, asking for help reaching a toy…. and it just is the 10th thing that happened in the past 15 minutes.  And we sigh.  We snap.  We tell them we’re busy.   

They just want us… need us. 
And it’s not their fault that they all need us at the same time. 

Recently (or almost every day) the following soundtrack has been heard at our house.  Each color is a different child.  Stay with me.

Tap tap tap.
“Mommy mama, mama, can you MOMMY help me hol-me, hol-me mama WIPE MY get this toy? BOTTOM! "

You literally must laugh out loud at times… lest you cry…. cause only crazy insane people hear things like that.  But maybe I am crazy and insane.  Don’t comment on that.

But you know how it goes…the tone gets higher in pitch,
they increase the volume, they focus on the first syllable.
Perhaps if they say your name 10 times in row, really fast you will hear them better.  


They just want us… they need us. 
And it’s not their fault that they all need us at the same time. 

Each little person has their own little needs.  And each little person thinks their need is the most important need at the moment.  Juice, dance party, lost star wars figure, not being able to find the perfect bow… these are the needs and I am the one to meet them.  And no organizational chart, or schedule can make meeting these needs any easier.

Now of course, we must instill in our children patience, self control, considering others, respecting when I say “no” or “hold on”.  They don’t run the show, getting whatever they want whenever they want it.   But I know for me, I can get so exhausted from the “Mama’s” that I just start saying “No”.  

No, I can’t get that. 
No, you may not have another snack.
No, I said no.  Just no. 

I want to be a mom who says “YES” more, and “NO” less.

-Yes you can make a fort…what else are we doing?

-Yes you can wear that outfit (even if none of it matches)

-Yes, you can make your own “Smoothie” with milk and juice and smooshed blueberries.

-Yes, I will close my computer to read to you…because you’re more important

-Yes, we can stay in our PJs all day…because why not?

-Yes I will cuddle you one more time…because pretty soon you won’t want to cuddle.  Won’t need to cuddle.

-Yes, I will stop to really figure out why you are crying instead of just telling you to stop crying.

I want to make my “No” matter.  For the Big things.

So what about you? 

~~Are you remembering that your little people are just little?  That to them their needs are huge. And to them, your are the one who can fix it all? 

~~Are you remembering that they are individuals? 

~~What areas can you say “Yes” to this week instead of “No”?

See you next week for more Life With Little People !