Friday, June 7, 2013

Well Done


We are told often how as parents, we are a refection of God to our children.  Daily, we have the opportunity to show them God’s love and grace, His authority and Discipline, His great care and provision for us--His dear children.   But one of the ways I have been most surprised in parenting is how our children actually reflect much of God’s character to me.  Sometimes I think they teach me more about God than I teach them.  It is humbling indeed.
Our busy day is filled with school, activities, juggling nap time, snack, house chores.  I am putting out the flames of sibling arguments and devising a plan to tackle the world crisis of laundry. I strive daily to exercise the fruit of the spirit in my parenting--- being patient and kind in my words and actions towards my children. I pray they see a mother who’s love is unconditional, who’s words are filled with grace.  I long for my children to go to bed at night knowing they are deeply loved by us and that they have a God that loves them and has a plan for them.  We try daily to talk about the Gospel with them and pray they will one day put their faith and trust in Christ-- who died for their sins.  

Gospel centered parenting. 
Oh how I wish I could confidently say this defines my daily life. 

But welcome to the real world…where children disobey, glasses get broken, I forget to defrost meat for dinner, we are constantly running late, and where family devotions are more like planet of the apes  (you think I am kidding?).  My picture perfect idea of “Gospel Centered Parenting” is shattered….and I realize that the one who needs the Gospel the most is the parent and not the child. Because if I am not constantly leaning into Christ to be my strength, how do I ever expect my children to?

Recently, we had a particularly trying day in our household.  I felt discouraged by my bickering children, the volume level in my house was similar to a heavy metal concert, I had a screamy baby, I had lost my temper one too many times…and I was heading towards despair.  You know it’s been a tough day when you’ve had to ask a 4 year old for forgiveness for your bad attitude.  It was bedtime and my tank was empty.  Mommy was DONE.  And in probably not so nice a way, I communicated that to my kids.  “It’s late, daddy’s at a meeting, it’s been a long day…now let’s just go to bed.”  

In my mind, it had just been a failure of a day----  In that moment, I certainly wasn’t showing my children the unconditional love of God.  I was showing them a mommy who was DONE.  Kid time was over.  (And I think I actually said that)   I love my children dearly and I believe that they are blessings.  But for the past 14 hours, I had been with them non stop… and I just needed this day to end.  But here’s the thing… children aren’t like that. 

They have been with us for 14 hours and they still aren't tired of us.  They aren’t done.  They don’t think to themselves, “Hey mom didn’t read me enough books, and I didn’t really like that snack she made.  She seems so grumpy”  After a long day with mommy---- a mommy who blew it and failed to be Christ like more than I care to admit--- they just wanted another snuggle. 

“You could cuddle me in my bed…”---- whispered my 4 year old.  And my hard heart was softened.
When I am the one who should be showing them the great love of God…. here was my 4 year old… overlooking a long day’s worth of sin, and offering Love.  The way our children so depend on us, how they long to be with us (even if they are at times at  tad clingy), how they smile the biggest smiles upon our arrival after being separated for a mere 2 hours…. this is the Gospel for a weary mama.  To be reminded that God is patient, that God delights in us, His children!  That He longs to be with us!  That even after we fail miserably,  God looks upon us and declares “Come unto me, you who are weary and I will give you rest”.  He doesn’t shake his head and say “try again another day.”  or “I really wish you humans would get it together and do this life thing a little better…. I am done'”  
So thankful that God isn’t “Done with me”.  So thankful my children are never “Done with me”  (maybe when they are teenagers they will be done with me, but I hope not!)

I pray that my heart would be more inclined to love well and to sacrificially lay down my life for my family that I might better show them God’s un-ending love.  I pray that I would have less days where I feel “done” and more days where I feel like I’ve “done well”.   And by “done well”,  I mean Loved well, where I persevere, rest in Christ, and enjoy the blessings He has given me.  

So tomorrow--- I am sure I will be overwhelmed, I am sure I will blow it, I am sure there will be chaos and disobedience, and lots of noise.  And come 8:00 I will be tired and weary----- but instead of throwing in the towel and just longing for the day to end…. I will go in for the extra cuddle, I will sing 1 more song, I will have pillow talk an extra minute.  I will remind my children that regardless of how hard our day has been, my love for them will not waiver.  For these moments --- these Gospel moments--- are what our children will remember.  They will see our deep love for God overflowing in our deep love for them. 

I will fight against the attitude of my heart being “done” with this….. and seek the One who will hopefully say one day  “Well done my good and faithful servant” .


Sunday, May 12, 2013

Thankful for Noodle Necklaces

“I am sure that, in my early youth, no teaching ever made such an impression
upon my mind as the instruc­tion of my mother;
neither can I conceive that, to any child, there can be one who will have such influence over the young heart as the mother who has so tenderly cared for her offspring.”
-Charles Spurgeon

Motherhood is such a sticky subject. Celebrating Motherhood can be sticky too I suppose.  Blogging about motherhood even stickier.  In motherhood especially, we can certainly find ourselves wrapped up in this identity.  This role--- this main calling on our lives. I read a few posts this week about motherhood that just didn'y sit well with me....I didn't agree with them, and found myself wanting to shout it out.  At the end of the day,   I believe the posts I read this week about Mother’s Day were simply trying to remind us that there is more to our identity than “mother”.  And that is something I wholeheartedly agree with.  

Mothers Day is certainly not a day to feel guilty.  I feel guilt on many days…most days.  I should be teaching my children more, they watch too much TV, my daughter eats Nutella on bread almost every morning for breakfast.  I am familiar with Guilt…. I judge myself as a Mother almost every day.   But on Mother’s Day?  I actually take a breath and give myself a break.  Today my family honors me and my service to them and I allow myself to simply enjoy the sweet blessings God has entrusted to me.  Mother’s Day to me is a reminder to step aside from the striving and just enjoy this family…the sweet fruit of all my labor.   To remember my own mother and the years of labor she poured into my life.

We certainly aren’t doing it all perfect as mothers…in fact we fail often.   I know I must I rely daily on Christ to live out this calling of motherhood… So we cling to the cross, for in our weakness He is made strong. And His Grace is sufficient for us and all our Motherhood mess.
We are weak in indeed….Yet even in our weakness, we can be still be celebrated.  Whether it be with breakfast in bed, a day at the spa, or a noodle necklace made by a 4 year old… let them celebrate you today.  Let us celebrate those around us who have gone before us and those who walk alongside us in this great calling.  Honor and respect and pray for those who long to be mothers, who have lost children, and lost mothers… and give thanks to God for the way he uses women to advance the Kingdom by bringing forth children--- and especially for those women who are faithfully raising children to love and honor Him. 

Happy Mother’s Day!


Friday, March 1, 2013

Blog Hiatus

It is probably clear from my lack of online presence that I have indeed been on a quite extended Blog Hiatus. 
I used to wonder how anyone just stopped blogging all together.  And then I found myself in that exact position.  I went from blogging daily, to a few times a week, to long stretches of 2-3 weeks in between.  Then months. And here we are today.  My baby is almost 11 months old and my last significant post was in May of 2012. 

The birth of my 4th child on top of: life in this unique city, hybrid homeschooling, taking on a part time job at my children’s school… not to mention daily house chores, errands, church relationships, etc… My life was feeling full and stretched.  Full I can handle, but it was become painfully stretched where I needed to evaluate my time and priorities.  When assessing what things needed to take priority, this sweet blog space had to be bumped down the list. 

I have had numerous times when I have had profound things to share.  Profound thoughts that require more than a 120 characters tweet can contain, or would be too lengthy for a Facebook status.    I still have a huge heart for writing, speaking, and sharing my thoughts on all sorts of topics. So for a season I have had to press pause on my commitment to blogging.  For a while I just didn’t know how to jump back in after months went by… and then I  didn’t really know if I wanted to.  I redesigned the blog header, tried to gain a little momentum, but it just wasn’t the right time to come back to regular blogging.   

I am not certain if I will blog in this space again.  But I hope to blog or write somewhere soon. 
For now, I hope you enjoy some of my past posts!

It has always been my desire to encourage others and Glorify God with my blogging.   I pray you have been encouraged as you read my blog and I hope you continue to follow/subscribe so you can keep updated on any new writing I do. 

Thank you faithful readers and friends for understanding that Living life was more important than blogging about it.

PS-- And Thanks to Pinterest for keeping my potty training post alive and circulating! 


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